Category Archives: Courtney Love

I [Heart] Amy Lynn Lee

It may or may not be surprising to find out that both terms Kinderwhore and Riot Grrrl originated in conversations about my life between Kurt Cobain and myself. 

Kurt came up with the band name Amy Carter and the idea for a zine “I [Heart] Amy Carter”.  The band members consisted of Tammy Rae, Kathleen Hanna, and Heidi Aborgast.  

We were discussing former President Jimmy Carter who’s home state is Georgia, same as my adopted mother’s.  I told him Amy Lynn Carter and I shared not only a first name and middle initial, but we also both have red hair.  (origin for stagename Amy Lynn

In 1991 Nirvana released the song On A Plain written in reference to President Jimmy Carter’s home town of Plains, Georgia.

(Left, young Amy Lynn Carter, fourth daughter of U.S. President Jimmy Carter)

(Bottom Right, Amy Lee, January 1976 on 8th Birthday)


Velvet Revolver Origin

The name for the band Velvet Revolver came from the band The Velvet Underground managed by the artist Andy Warhol  and The Beatles ’66 album Revolver.  Even though the song Falling to Pieces was not released until 2004, I came up with the song between ’83 and ’84.  It had been a long day and I remember them pushing me really hard.  My clothes were soaked with sweat, but I was trying to be a trouper.  The whole time I felt like I was about to pass out.   

“I keep a journal of memories
I’m feeling lonely, I can’t breathe
I fall to pieces, I’m falling
Fell to pieces and I’m still falling” – Falling to Pieces performed by Velvet Revolver

The lyrics to the song inspired not only Kurt Cobain to write and publish his journals, but also Michael Hutchence of INXS to keep a journal.

The naming of the band is what influenced them to do the 1996 movie on the life of artist Jean-Michel Basquiat with Courtney Love having a small role.


Lies of the Beautiful People Origin

“Well if you think real beauty’s on the outside
Well that’s a far cry
From the truth
Maybe all the information you received
Well you should not believe
There’s no proof
Save yourself from all the lies of the beautiful people
It’s time to run from the lies of the beautiful people” Lies of the Beautiful People performed by Sixx: A.M.

Not long after Joe Elliott and I met we were talking about my favorite Beatles song which happened to be Helter Skelter.  At the time I didn’t know of the California band by the name of Motley Crue who had been performing a cover of the song  which would be released in September of that year on the “Shout at the Devil” album. 

We talked about the meaning of the song and I found out there was actually an amusement ride called “Helter Skelter” in England.  I had a collection of Beatles songs which included the song, but not the White album which had been released the year I was born, 1968.  Joe proceed to tell me and Kurt Cobain the sordid history of the White album and the song. 

The term ‘helter skelter’ was far less well known in the US.  To the psychopath Charles Manson it was a coded prophecy for an apocalyptic race war (or Armageddon).  This is why Kurt at one point drew an “X” on his forehead and had his picture taken.  Def Leppard would release the song Armageddon It on the Hysteria album in 1987.

It wasn’t long after this discussion that I met Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue who in February of ’83 had performed at the US Fest in California with INXS.  (This is when Tommy Lee gave me the nickname Bullwinkle.)

Joe took some time off in June from the Rock Till You Drop tour, claiming a sore throat, while we all worked on new songs.   About this time Pete Willis left the band and they called in their friend Phil Collen of the band Girl to fill the vacancy.  They went back to California to the movie studios and filmed the original music video for Photograph with the stabbing knife at the beginning and using images of Marilyn Monroe.  Joe later made a second version with a black cat like mine at the beginning (see The Pussycat Dolls to Papa Don’t Preach post).

After coming up with the song The Beautiful People I also came up with the stagename “Marilyn Manson” for Def Leppard’s use of Marilyn Monroe in Photograph and the story about Helter Skelter and Charles Manson drawing a connection to Motley Crue.

This is also where I came up with the stagename for Eminem (M&M for Marilyn Manson) after writing songs which he would perform.  It was Michael Jackson’s suggestion for the spelling of the name.

I would go on to make up the song Beautiful performed by Christina Aguilera after Courtney Love gave me a compliment.  Courtney and I did not get along and it surprised me when I overheard the compliment.  So, in a turn of kindness I made up the song.  This song was based on ELO’s Don’t Bring Me Down.

Years later I would makeup a third song titled Lies of the Beautiful People and I asked Nikki Sixx if he would perform it so to tie into the other songs, The Beautiful People and Beautiful.  We then came up with the band name Sixx A.M. (A.M. being the first 2 letters of my name).


Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love Myths

Kurt Cobain did not have a relationship with a girl named Tracy Marander. This was a girl he knew and gave the name Tracy for my ex-boyfriend. (See 1982 of which the page is bound into my school annual)

Kurt does not have a sister named Kimberly Dawn. Kimberly is my sister-in-law’s name. Dawn is the street I lived on in 1983 when I met them.

Kurt claimed to have an aunt named Mary, for the Mary in the song “Lose Control” performed by Evanescence which I wrote when I was 15 in 1983.

Leland Cobain is not Kurt’s grandfather’s name.  In 1957, Frances Farmer met Leland C. Mikesell, an independent broadcast promoter from Indianapolis who helped her move to San Francisco.

In all the years I knew Kurt, I never once saw in inject himself with a syringe. That is not to say he didn’t do drugs.

The movie Straight to Hell released in 1987, the actress which goes by the stage name Courtney Love looking very much pregnant and I don’t believe that is padding.  Do you?  There is a girl who is part of their clan which Kurt Cobain claimed as his half-sister Breanne, who would be about the right age.  Actually, Breanna is my cousins name which he used.

Courtney’s character’s name in the movie Straight to Hell is Velma. In the town where I grew up, Trussville, there is a bar by the name of Velma’s Place.

Just as Courtney Michelle Love is not her real name.  Her birth certificate is a fake showing her father at age 15 and mother age 20 at the time it happened to be recorded in 1973.

  


Kurt Cobain and Charles Barkley

The Orange and Blue” also known as Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama

In 1983, basketball player Charles Barkley from Leeds, Alabama was on the Auburn University basketball team before going pro. 

After we met in ’83, Kurt Cobain wanting to make a public connection to me, made a connection to Barkley.  This is not only because Barkley grew up in a small town near where I grew up in Trussville, but also because there is a city near where Kurt grew up in Washington also named Auburn.

I’ve mentioned that Courtney Love showed up in our lives in late ’84 looking for a part in the movie (Love Kills) Sid & Nancy.  Kurt asked her to have a picture taken which she claims was taken while still a teenager at Hillcrest juvenile hall and I do believe that is Kurt in the picture with her.  Her hair is dyed red, almost the color of mine.

In 1993 Barkley was asked to appear on SNL with Nirvana.

 Kurt also made mention of me is in his journal “At peace ami. You’re a good one.”  Kurt was a self proclaimed bad speller.

There is one more connection to Auburn and that is to Michael Hutchence.  Hutch was born in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia.  Auburn is a suburb in western Sydney and named after Oliver Goldsmith’s poem The Desserted Village, which describes ‘Auburn’ in England as the loveliest village of the plain.


Kurt Cobain’s Down Syndrome Girl

I have mentioned in “About A Girl” above that my grandfather, Miles Edward, was an Evangelist who started his ministry in the 1930’s and his name was inspiration for Edward Lewis’ character name in the movie Pretty Woman.  Lewis being his grandmother’s maiden name.    

Courtney Love claims her birthday is the same day as my grandparents wedding anniversary of July 9th and Trent Reznor claims his grandmother’s name is the same as mine, Clara.   

Russell Brand’s stage name is for the Russell Brand Athletic wear in Alexander City, Alabama where my grandfather married his 2nd wife in October ’84 after Clara passed away in October ’83. 

These, of course, are my adopted grandparents (mother’s side).  I was adopted at the age of 6 months old after having been withheld from adoption by physicians who were concerned about my physical appearance and the possibility of having been born with Down Syndrome.  Kurt Cobain wrote a ficticious story about me in his journal under the title Down Syndrome Girl.  

In 1974, the adoption agency sent my parents a family history which Mom kept in my baby book and Kurt and Joe read.  My background/family history was used as inspiration for background for future artists (including Amy Lynn Hartzler and Courtney Love) and for movies.  One such movie was Susan Sarandon’s 2006 movie Irresistible set in Australia and also starring Sam Neill.  Sam Neill starred in the ’89 movie Dead Calm with Nicole Kidman who went on to marry Tom Cruise and Billy Zane who also starred in the ’97 movie Titanic

“It’s bigger than Germany!” Love Bites, Def Leppard, was inspired by the fact according to my family history I am of English and German descent.


Oh! Pretty Woman

In ’82 Van Halen released a cover of Roy Orbison’s song Oh!, Pretty Woman on their Diver Down album.  This is one album my brother had and I loved.  My favorites being the cover of Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now) and Hang ‘Em High.  But, my all time favorite cover of Van Halen’s is Ice Cream Man, which Tommy Lee seemed to enjoy whenever I would sing it. 

Joe Elliott started paperwork getting a passport for me in the summer of ’83.  It was unknown to me his intentions, but when I returned from my grandmother’s funeral, my adopted mother’s mother, in Georgia the first of Oct ’83 everyone seemed to be upset about my disappearance. 

I told them of my grandmother’s long battle with Leukemia which she had been in remission with for years.  Joe wanted to do a movie about it, knowing I had also been babysitting off and on during the summer for a little girl in remission from Leukemia.  Kurt Cobain spoke up knowing my cousin had Type 1 Diabetes and worked for Xerox.  Of course, Kurt was a walking Encyclopedia of music and knew that Zerox was an early Adam & The Ants song.  There is actually an early home movie of Kurt trying to tear up a copy machine.   http://youtu.be/NxS_55Ql1Ks  While discussing the idea Joe came up with the title naming it Steel Magnolias released in ’89.

My adopted father’s mother, Isabel, a redhead herself, once owned a  beauty shop named Belle’s House of Beauty in Texas.   The picture is of my brother getting his first haircut.  This is where they got the idea for the beauty shop in Steel Magnolias and also name the character Belle Marmillion.

Tom Cruise would go on to adopt a little girl with Nicole Kidman and name her Isabella.

Kurt Cobain later would talk about how Nirvana would practice above a beauty shop in the early years.  My grandmother’s birthday, February 24, also happened to be the day Kurt and Courtney got married in 1992.

(My grandmother’s Social Security Card application)

 Michael Jackson knew I loved the tv show Beauty and the Beast which ran from 1987 to 1990 starring “Linda Carroll” Hamilton (Courtney Love’s mother’s name is supposedly Linda Carroll) as Belle and Ron Perlman as the Beast Vincent.  Linda Hamilton is the ex-wife of film director James Cameron (this is important and will post about the development of Titanic later).  Disney put into production the development of Belle about this time and released the animated Beauty and the Beast in 1991. 

Sometime during all of this the actor Eric Roberts found out what was going on and invited to Alabama to meet me.  His motive was in looking for scripts for his sister, Julia, another redhead. 

Plans for a trip were rescheduled for the weekend before Halloween which fell on a Monday.  I didn’t know this would mean skipping a day of school.  They dressed me in a brunette wig and large sunglasses and we left on Joe’s private plane.  We arrived in Dublin and Joe took off through customs and the airport ahead of us being mobbed by paparazzi.  I heard Kurt ask if Joe had let them know he was arriving.  Joe gave a quick interview distracting them while we finished in customs then climbed into a Range Rover.  We climbed into the Range Rover parked behind his.

The home was large, but not quite what one would call a mansion by today’s standards.  It had a mortar and rock facade in a very European style.  Joe met us at the door and came up behind me putting his hands over my eyes leading me through the front hall into the main living area.  When he took his hands away I was staring at green rolling hills through a window that spanned the length of the room.  The window was made up of panes of beveled glass which obscured the view some.  I gasped as a white hairy beast rounded one of the green mounds charging toward the home.  At first I thought it was a horse.  A few seconds later this mud covered behemoth was sitting on the white marble in front of me.  This is when I realized it wasn’t a horse at all but a dog, a Great Pyrenees actually.

Development of the script for the ’90 movie Pretty Woman was well under way on this trip and changes were being made.  Joe decided to use Lauren Bacall’s dress in the 1944 film adaption of Ernest Hemingway’s To Have and Have Not as inspiration for the “hooker dress”.


Courtney Love Kills Never Never Land – pt 2

She’s only fifteen
She’s the reason-the reason that I can’t sleep
You say illegal
I say legal’s never been my scene, oh yeah
I try like hell but I’m out of control 

“All In The Name of” Performed by Motley Crue

I was running late getting ready the day I met Tommy Lee of Motley Crue.  He asked Kurt what the problem had been.  I laughed and told him I had been watching Rocky & Bullwinkle.   He then gave me the nickname Bullwinkle.  This is where William Gray, formerly of Evanescence,  got the nickname Rocky. 

I am mentioned as Bullwinkle on the first page of Motley Crue’s trashy book “The Dirt”. 

Once he became famous, Kurt Cobain started wearing a t-shirt with Natasha Fatale, from Rocky & Bullwinkle.

February of ’83 Motley Crue, INXS, and Oingo Boingo all performed at the US Fest in California. 

Oingo Boingo had worked on the soundtrack along with Billy Squier for Fast Times at Ridgemont high which starred Sean Penn (Tom Cruise’s ’81 Taps co-star in Taps).  Inspired by Adam & The Ants and INXS sound and sitting between Michael Hutchence and Adam Ant, I came up with the songs for Oingo Boingo’s ’85 Deadman’s Party album.  Which inspired the movie Weird Science.  In fact, Marco Pirroni became a little upset when I started singing Deadman’s Party.  I told him, “No One Lives Forever” and immediately made up the song.

INXS through part of ’83 had been touring with Adam & The Ants.  Most know that the man responsible for The Sex Pistols success, Malcolm McLaren, was also manager for Adam & The Ants.  As I’ve mentioned before, Stuart Goddard known as Adam Ant is the one who wanted me to read news articles for ideas to write songs.  Inspiring movies along the way. 

After meeting, Kurt and I had been talking about the Sex Pistol’s band member Johnny Rotten when he got the idea for the movie which became (Love Kills) Sid & Nancy.   Ideas for the movie were being mapped out as early as ’83.  The band Queen then released a song in ’84 titled Love Kills.

The Clash’s Joe Strummer performed the title track for the ’86 movie titled “Love Kills” which is in direct relation to me.

Walking out of England thinking of you were king taking on this world

On that bus that goes through Mexico a killer love finds a sweet Mexican girl

But in Mississippi we rushed into the room

Down in Dixie you were crying for dope

Down in Alabama they like home cooked fare yea

So we are going to strap you to the fryin’ chair yea

In 1983 the first inmate to be electrocuted by the State of Alabama after the United States reinstituted the death penalty in 1976 was John Louis Evans.

(Adam Ant friend of   Michael Jackson)


Courtney Love Kills Never Never Land – pt 1

Oh where are you going

And where have you been?

To the land of Never Never

And back again!

(The article is about Michael Jackson deciding to publicly visit my hometown in ’84.)

“While sitting between Kurt Cobain and Michael Jackson talking about building a new theme park, it was Kurt who gave him the idea to call it Neverland.”

Michael Jackson was brought in to meet me in ’83.  I spent a day hanging out with friends that summer who introduced me to the Thriller album.  Once Joe Elliott found out he sent the word to Jackson’s handlers about me.  The meetings were all very clandestine with one of his brothers actually meeting to give his approval.   

At first, MJ and I would talk about shows that I had seen him on, like Donny and Marie.  He wanted to know what I thought about his music.  I love all kinds of music, but am a die-hard Rock fan at heart.  You could say that it was MJ’s influence which led me deeper into pop and rap music. 

From an early age, I not only wanted to be a classical pianist, but also a gymnast and dancer.  MJ and I would sometimes have dance offs just for fun.  He would watch me for the sole purpose of trying to pick up a new dance move.  For the record, I never had any formal training in dance other than a brief stint as a cheerleader on a drill team like the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, but it was for a pee wee football team named the Rockets.  Yep, this inspired the song by Def Leppard called Rocket.

We talked about the singing school I attended in Dallas, Texas during the summers from the time I was four years old.  As a reward the whole group of kids were taken on a trip to Six Flags over Dallas at the end for a day.  MJ’s face brightened and you could see the wheels turning as I talked about it.  Kurt Cobain was pretty much my constant companion, he too could see the wheels turning.

Once the idea formed for an adventure park, Kurt told MJ about a place in Tacoma, Washington named Never Never Land he would visit as a child.     http://www.metroparkstacoma.org/page.php?id=241

(The park in Tacoma was demolished in 2010.)

MJ wanted animals at his park too.  Not sure why a chimp, but he was so little when MJ first brought him to meet me.  He told me he named him Bubbles for the stripper named Bubbles Cash who inspired the current day Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.  Somewhere along the way Bubbles name was used in the song Joe Elliott and I had started working on after we first met named Pour Some Sugar On Me. 

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

PSSOM took it’s name from the very core of our southern lifestyle from putting so much sugar in our iced tea you can stand a spoon up in it, the SEC Sugar Bowl hosted in New Orleans where I have family, to our sugar white sands along the Gulf Coast.

My mother is the quintessential southern lady hailing from a small town in Georgia.  There is even a pageant for Miss Georgia Peach which a cousin of mine won the title.  To the right is my parents car on their wedding day.  So, this was added to the lyrics for PSSOM

 You got the peaches, I got the cream

Kurt Cobain made reference to this song in the Nirvana song Mexican Seafood.

Ah, the itchy flakes

It is inflaming

To the gels and creams

Kurt also made reference to Michael Jackson’s Pepsi commercial incident where MJ’s hair caught fire in his published journal on the page titled Uncertainty.  “Jesus its hot!  My lashes and brows are curling up and melting emiting the worst smell of burnt hair”

Even Michael Hutchence of INXS had influence not only on the song PSSOM, but also making reference to knowing MJ by covering Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood’s hit song “Jackson” along with his backup singer New Zealander Jenny Morris.

Hutch’s influence on the song came in the form of me reading a press release about the band.  Next to the article was a title that caught my eye about the television show Highway to Heaven being preachy (which also helped to inspire the song Papa Don’t Preach).  The reason it was important is because my mom always put saccharine in orange juice.

 Sweet to taste, saccharine

(There is actually another story behind all the crotch grabbing, MJ in the Bad music video and Hutchence here, but I will save it for later.)

Kurt Cobain made reference to saccharine in his journal on the page titled Sexually Transmitted Diseases, “Saccharine Trust – Peace Frog”.  Actually, the reference was two-fold as the drummer for Saccharine Trust, Earl Liberty, joined the band Circle Jerks who were friends of Tommy Lee of Motley Crue and Kurt wanted to talk to them about working on the soundtrack for the movie about The Sex Pistols.  This movie turned into ’86 (Love Kills) Sid & Nancy.   The original title to the movie (Love Kills) took its name from Michael Hutchence’s contributions to Freedom Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (1982) – “Speed Kills”, “Forest Theme” (with Don Walker of Cold Chisel) and from my name, Amy, which means beLOVEd or to Love.  Not to mention we had already been working on the song named Love Bites, after I bit the heck out of Kurt’s arm one day.

The actress which would have a small role in Sid & Nancy started hanging around in late ’84.  Kurt came across an obituary with the name Courtney Love.  Before the credits were written for the movie he had her take the stage name.  There were a couple of reasons, the obituary was dated 2 days after my birthday, Jan 12th, which later was a day Kurt & Courtney said they met in ’89 at the Satyricon nightclub in Portland.


Origins of Evanescence

 Soon Joe Elliott brought band members of Adam & The Ants, INXS, Motley Crue, Gene Simmons, Tom Cruise, and Michael Jackson among many others to meet me.

It was upon meeting Stuart Goddard, lead singer for Adam & The Ants, in June of ’83 who encouraged me to read newspaper articles for inspiration to makeup songs.

Inspiration to write Like A Virgin, performed by Madonna, and the name of the band Evanescence came from the review of a Chorus Line by Frank Rich of the New York Times Oct ’83.